Redefining Fulfillment: Who’s Dream Are Your Living?
They say age brings wisdom. Well, at my age, I’m learning that a lot of the things I thought I wanted were shaped by what I thought I should have wanted. I didn’t realize it back then, but I was chasing ideals that weren’t even mine. It’s easy to think you’re moving forward when you’re really just checking boxes.
But what happens when you get there? When you achieve the things you thought you wanted and it still feels like it’s not enough or something is missing? I think we have to accept that even as we get older and understand this, we can still, at some capacity, feel unfulfilled. I believe it’s part of human nature, to always want more. We tend to get over things quickly. We’re insatiable. But that’s a conversation for another coffee chat.
So, how do we make sure we’re not just chasing things for the sake of it? How do we stop living out other peoples version of fulfillment or success and start defining it for ourselves? I think it comes down to three things:
Understanding What You Really Want
For the longest time, I didn’t stop to think if what I wanted was what I actually wanted, or just what I’d been conditioned to want or I saw it and thought “I need that too!”. Listening to others isn’t inherently bad, there’s wisdom in community and guidance. But I never took the time to ask if it aligned with who I was or what God wanted for me. That pause is where you make room for dicsernement. Sometimes, you have to step back and really ask, Whose dream am I chasing?
Taking a Beat Before You Leap
The world is loud. Everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing. But before you start sprinting toward the next thing, take a breath. Take a beat to ask God if it’s the right step for you. I didn’t always do this. I listened, I followed, I chased but I didn’t pause. I’m learning now that pausing matters. This allows clarity to set in.
Letting Go of Borrowed Dreams
Sometimes you have to let go of what you thought you wanted to make space for what’s actually meant for you. And that’s hard. But I’m learning that fulfillment isn’t found in achieving more; it’s found in aligning with purpose. That might mean rerouting. It might mean starting over. And that’s okay because it is far worse to live a life you dislike at the expense of others who in the end don’t even really care about what that means for you. Let that sink in.
True fulfillment isn’t found in ticking boxes. It’s found in living authentically, discerning God’s voice over the noise, and embracing the unique path designed for you.
Because at the end of the day, the things that matter aren’t always the things we’ve been told to chase.
What would redefining fulfillment look like for you?
